Perhaps I’ll Start Writing Again.

September 1, 2013 § 2 Comments

Yes, perhaps I’ll start writing again. I haven’t wanted to for a very long time. Perhaps I’ve been busy writing other things (like a humongous thesis–and yes I had to look up and verify the spelling of humongous and yes, I’m an English major, but I repeat: ENGLISH MAJOR DOES NOT = SPELLING OR GRAMMAR MAJOR, people!!!) and the thought of writing anything else made me want to puke. But I don’t think that’s it. Perhaps I had writer’s block. Or life block. Or perhaps there were so many big things that happened that I didn’t want to cheapen it all by trying to explain it. Like holding my baby for the first time. Or the billionth time. Even now, writing this, she is sleeping next to me with her belly up, her arms and legs sprawled open. She is the most vulnerable person I know.

The truth is she is changing me so fast I haven’t known where to begin writing. Where do I begin?

Well, for starters, my little sister emailed me today and just before she wrote goodbye and signed her name she said:

And please take time to write Tara. Don’t forget!

 I wasn’t sure if she was talking about writing her on her mission or writing creatively on my own. I mean, I always write her on her mission–every week.* Well, except a few times. Was she referring to those few times I forgot/got too lazy/distracted? Geez. SO JUDGMENTAL. (And yes, I had to verify that spelling too. I always forget: Is there an e after the g?)

Anyway, I took it as a sign that I should keep writing because I’m starting to want to again because I’m starting to have things to say again. And, as always: I need to.

-

* For example, this excerpt from the email I sent Lissa today:

Today I was brushing my teeth just before bed and had these thoughts: You are a strong and capable woman. You are a smart and intelligent woman. You are a kind and thoughtful and loving woman. Even with your fat rolls and trying to lose 18 more pounds: You are a beautiful woman with child bearing hips and milking giving giant boobs. And those are good things. 

§ 2 Responses to Perhaps I’ll Start Writing Again.

  • Linda Boyce says:

    Ryan and Tara are you still coming to the cabin? tonight or tomorrow. I’ve got pork chops for tonight should I take out two for you guys? Linda Boyce

  • I had an almost six month break from my blog before getting back into it with renewed focus. Beforehand I was forcing myself to write 2-3 times a week, but it just got too much. Now I do it once a week, and keep it limited to a topic on film or Japan. Which has really helped :)

    Good luck :) Writer’s block is a tough one.

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