Everyone has “bad days,” right? Well, I just had a series of three “bad”/MISERABLE/DISGUSTING/ANGRY days. And I have no idea why.
Lately, as in since I graduated three months ago, every day has been a day on top of the world. I turned into Mrs. High Cloud (I don’t know what that means, but it was the first thing that came to my mind).
Really, every day I felt like Tom after he falls in love with Summer:
(This post works better if you watch the video before reading on.)
Monday was like the epitome of this: I woke up BEFORE the sun was over the mountains, as in 6:30am. Serious? I had slept deeply. I had eaten SO well the night before (Ryan had come home from an out-of-town volleyball game and as a celebration, I had made this gorgeous lemon peel/tomato/spinach/feta cheese pasta and this divine salmon/cream cheese/basil/cucumber bruschetta). The whole apartment was super clean and smelled like vanilla candles. The dishes were done and put away. I actually showered BEFORE work, instead of after. I felt clean. I felt sparkling. I felt in love and alive and ready for everything, and I was. Work was great. Not everything ran smoothly, but it’s not like that could affect this kind of happiness? Am I right? That night, Ryan came home, we ate leftovers and burritos, then went to the library for FHE to get him a book*, which happened to be checked out. But we didn’t care! We ended up getting what turned out to be a really old and boring movie on Spain, but it had pretty music. We both fell asleep watching it.
Fast forward to Tuesday: I woke up PISSED.
Yes, I woke up with a headache. Yes, I didn’t sleep well–I had all these dreams about being interrupted. Like, in one dream, I was sleeping and people kept waking me up over and over again–in a dream! (Inception.) In another dream, I was speaking in a lecture hall, and people kept barging in through the doors and yelling. (Carl Jung?) But this anger lasted all day. And when Wednesday and Thursday came around, there weren’t really any excuses. The “it’s just a bad day” syndrome just rolled over–twice–like rollover minutes from the past three months. I was always clenching my teeth, grinding my knuckles against the desktop, snapping the laptop shut “because it’s so freaking SLOW!”
Every evening I went to bed pissed, every morning I woke up pissed.
Except for today.
I feel freaking great.
Someday, when my little daughter has the worst week of her life, I’ll know to tell her, “Ya know, some bad days just accumulate into one really long, really miserable cluster of really really bad days. But it’s okay. You’ll get through it. I did.”
*Ryan’s own request: When Pride Still Mattered: A Life of Vince Lombardi.
**I looked gross.