After watching the basketball game last night, I walked depressingly to Ryan’s volleyball game on campus.
This couple walked passed me, talking about some teacher–as if their teacher mattered at all at this moment.
I thought, What is wrong with you? Do you not even care about anything? Jimmer crushed our dreams today. He was not a superhero. He was a loser because he lost. If he’s a loser, what do you think you are? What do you think we all are?
I watched the BYU Men’s Volleyball team kill Hawaii in three sets. But I didn’t care. Ryan sprained his ankle yesterday–he didn’t play. But more importantly,* I was still upset because Jimmer lost.
When Ryan and I drove back from his volleyball game, Ryan said, “Hey, at least I’m number one now.”
I didn’t say anything.
“You know, since Jimmer lost.”
YEAH, I KNOW.
“Well,” I said. “I don’t know….” Because deep down, I still loved Jimmer, even though he really disappointed me. Even though he shot a hundred balls and only made 14 of them and got stuffed a thousand times. And had a billion turnovers in overtime.
“Okay, okay,” Ryan said. “At least it’s comforting to know that The Jimmer can make you upset too.”
“Yes, Ryan. He can.”
And Jimmer did. I had no idea my heart could hurt this much.
___
*(Not really)
Womormonings 
Isn’t it interesting how our feelings and demeanor can be so influenced by what happens in competitive sports we don’t have any control over?
When our team wins, it seems like everything is right with the world, but when they lose…well, I’m as guilty as anyone.
When I was a kid I used to imagine I could have an outcome on the game I was watching if I made the shot in my room on my makeshift hoop…and I have been known on more than one occasion (as an adult) to yell something like this at the television, “Could somebody just break that guy’s leg!? He’s killing us!”
Yes, I may seem like a calm person, but competitive sports brings out my type A personality just like my family does.
Hahahaha Brad, I’m right with you. Today the weather reflects how we both feel.
Girl. I soooooo feel you on this one. My feelings EXACTLY. We were walking off campus after the game, and heard two girls talking about some test they had to take. I was like “ARE YOU DUMB????? HAVE YOU NO RESPECT?????”
That game gave me an ulcer for NOTHING.
You know my family and sports. I wished and prayed and wished after the game that I was like one of those girls talking about a teacher after the game, not knowing anything about it. But deep down I know I really don’t wish I was one of those girls. I love loving sports and I loved loving Jimmer and the Cougars season. I had severe anxiety during that game. I even changed my pants, got a new blanket, and changed my sitting position to help them play better. It didn’t work. I guess I don’t control the game after all.
After the game I just sat starring at my computer trying to plan my lesson. My SEX ED lesson for the next day, that I didn’t care about at all. I couldn’t think about anything, but every play we screwed up that game. Finally the tears started to roll down my cheek. I tried to stop. I knew Shane would make fun of me and laugh. He laughed, but instead of just making fun, he came over and shut my computer and said I needed a break. Then the tears really came. I started crying because I was mad I was crying and I was crying because I felt sick, sick over the fact that we lost and had a chance to win!!! Sick because I knew people would use this game to say Jimmer sucked, when really they just all suck.
So Shane just held me and I cried for a good 5 minutes. In that moment I realized I was pathetic and that I had become my father. I also realized I had no shame in crying over the fact that I was mad, such is life. It probably won’t be the last time I cry over BYU sports. Hopefully, the last time I cry over Jimmer though.
I’m still mad today, but luckily the tears are gone.
Love your writing cuz and I love your love for the Jimmer!
HAHHAHAHAH, Darcee! I LOVE you and your dad. This is an incredible story.