“People talk of natural sympathies”

I don’t know if it’s out of habit or what, but I spend a lot of time missing Ryan. I’m used to him being away, ya know, when I’m at work, or he’s at work. Or during the school year, when he’s gone at practice, or I’m at school, or he’s away for volleyball games. I get used to him being gone because adults have to do things other than be around each other. I even need and want to be away sometimes. But still, I haven’t gotten so used to missing him that I don’t feel it a little all the time that I am away from him (even if I choose it).

This isn’t normal for me. Everyone who intimately knows me knows that I need much more alone time than the average person. When I don’t get enough alone time, I can and do get annoyed of every person and every thing, truly. So this attachment to missing Ryan thing, even when I’m pissed off, is quite strange.

I guess my mom had it right when she told Ryan that out of everyone in the world, he annoyed me the least. Perhaps something worth getting married about.


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