I Want to Say Something Bold.

I want to say something worth shouting in exclamation marks! Because I feel excited!

Or rather, I feel so bored and want to feel excited because something in me tells me life is supposed to be exciting–or at least leaning in that direction. You know: A new day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Read my last post and you’ll know I’m not excited right now. I was telling my friend that I’ve hit a lull in my life. I blame it on my

(1) no working. I’m one of those people who has to be working at/for something to feel NORMAL.

(2) dread of this upcoming year, the thesis-writing year. I’m usually on top of things. I’m usually prepared. I am not a procrastinator, although sometimes I joke about it because it’s funny. When it comes to school and schoolwork I’m a Type A-on-top-of-things kind of person. But this summer, people. I’ve done almost-literally nothing. (I read a couple books and decided that that thesis topic wasn’t for me. Great.) And the worst thing is–I haven’t even enjoyed it. I hate being lazy but. I. can’t. stop.

(3) loneliness. My goodness. Ryan has been gone so much and my best friends have all been gone for awhile now and it’s finally caught up to me. I drove to Salt Lake last week just to see MacKenzie during her hour and a half layover because I miss, I miss those good people you grow up with and can sit with and talk to for hours and hours and hours and exchange stories (like MacKenzie’s, for example, whose life plot I will write and publish in a book someday). The friends who say, “Ha! That’s so you!” and are actually right about it. (Side note: Don’t you hate those people who say, “That’s so you!” and they’re wrong?) I also miss living by people my own age instead of near “old” people with KIDS, even if their kids are the kind of kids that make me want to have babies.

(4) THE BEES. I keep calling the Home Owner’s Association and saying, “Umm, yes, excuse me? Can you please send someone over to fix the holes that apparently are in our roof so that a thousand bees stop flying into our house?” They keep telling me someone will fix it. I keep our vacuum near the window permanently now–you know, to vacuum up the bees because the sound of their freaking buzzing makes me want to throw up. I’d buy bug spray or do it myself but I’m so stubborn that I’d rather wait for HOA to use the $120 I give them every month for maintenance.

As for wanting to say something bold and exciting, this will have to suffice:

I’M GONNA GO WORK ON MY SYLLABUS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Any of you have bold news you want to share with me? Use exclamation marks, please.






8 Replies to “I Want to Say Something Bold.”

  1. All I have to say is that I know what you mean about being lonely and just wanting to spend time with people who really know you. Since I recently moved to Boston, I’ve been STARVING for that and every time I get any semblance of a chance to talk to or spend time with someone I’ve known longer than two months I pounce on it and sit on top of it so it doesn’t get away and squeeze out every last drop of it so I don’t: a) talk to no one and worry that I’m disappearing or b) feel like my whole life always has to be starting over and introducing myself and trying to make myself seem interesting.
    I’m not sure if this makes any sense. But I feel ya.

  2. I once read a book that referred to “!” as screamers because they indicate to a dense audience that they just read a joke. I’ve never cared for them much since. But for you, I will use them: !!!!!!!!!

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