She Said She Couldn’t Remember What She Was Doing EITHER!

March 22, 2013 § Leave a comment

So my friend H— and I spent five hours together kind of on accident. I guess you could say it was on purpose because after I finished teaching at 2pm today, I texted her and told her to meet me in the student carrels. I knew deep down this would lead to hours of conversation that would distract me from working on my thesis, but I texted her anyway.

You could say that what drove me to text her was that yesterday I had a random mini melt-down after Ryan left for the weekend. I literally sobbed for like ten minutes last night while trying to grade my papers (and because all this estrogen flooding my body makes me very missy-Ryan-y). The papers were so bad I panicked: What is wrong with me as a teacher? What did I do wrong that so many students could produce something as disgusting as this?

Lately, I’ve been very panicky because my brain is a half brain now. Seriously. They call it “pregnancy brain” and it’s real, people. I’m an idiot now. I feel less capable and intelligent than ever. I can’t remember ANYTHING. This causes me to feel panicky in the middle of the night, in the middle of teaching, etc.

Anyway. Texting H— turned out to be the best thing I ever did. After discussing all my stupidity and panicky-ness, she told me this story:

“There were two things I wanted to teach my students today about addressing counterarguments. TWO THINGS. I could only remember one. I couldn’t remember the other one AT ALL. So I taught them one thing. I had all these plans–I was going to do this and show them this. But I literally could not remember.”*

I don’t know why this story made my day. I don’t know why it made me laugh so hard I sounded like my grandma who has this famous high-pitched Finnish laugh.

So H— and I had dinner together. We talked about a lot of things, including teaching. Here’s the thing: I love teachers. There’s this bond between us I cannot explain. Nothing makes us feel as good as a student who says, “Thank you, sincerely. I’ve learned so much from you.” And nothing makes us laugh/inwardly sob harder than a student who says, and I quote: “I’ve learned absolutely nothing in this class.”

Ah, well.

*Let it be known: H— is a fabulous teacher. I observed her once and she blew my mind. We all have our off days. And our students never let us forget.


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